Month: July 2020

The First Threesome

July 29, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lovers Diary, Part IV

Personally, I am not a fan of threesomes. I understand it is a common fantasy for most, and for some it may work out. Me? Each one has sucked in some shape or form. I did gain the most from my very first threesome in terms of an evolution of my likes and being introduced to kink.

Here I was, 15, or more like 15 3/4. You know how important it is to specify how close you are to an older age when you are that young. There was me, my bisexual but more gay than straight boyfriend at the time, and a friend I would fuck a number of years later. It was a tame threesome, but when you are that young, anything is wild. We were at my then boyfriend’s grandma’s house where he lived. I would later be banned from visiting him there because I was apparently the bad influence. He was 18, I was 15. Just saying. His house wasn’t the only guy’s house I had been banned from as a teenager. I feel like over the years people I have spoken with and what started kink for them. There is a very defining moment burned into your memory. Those emotions make the past crisp and clear, or so it seems.

They were in their underwear, in my then boyfriend’s bedroom. I was in mine and they licked me gently from top to bottom. A story for another day is that I lost my virginity to that same boyfriend. Purposefully chose this boyfriend for that task, for the sole reason of I didn’t want to lose my virginity to someone I loved. I used to read as much as possible in the library, the loner I was, the little goth girl loner. Black hair, too thick raccoon eyeliner, tacky glitter and top to bottom black attire. Oh, but I had pink underwear on. Not thongs yet. Just full bum. I had read that you remember who you lose your virginity to the most because of the emotions. I read how oxytocin makes you attached to a man, especially as a female, once you have sex, POOF, attached. I sought out to connect my body to not associate sex and orgasms with attachment unless I chose to consciously. I used to read AskMen all the time and who knows what other guy blogs or things I probably shouldn’t have read as a teenager. I also had a subscription to Cosmopolitan and I took each advice column very seriously. Yes, even the ice cube and mint bubblegum blowjob articles. I tried it all and took it as seriously as anything I could at the time besides schoolwork. When I wasn’t studying school, I was either watching some sex education show, sexting over MSN with a boyfriend, reading about sex, or having sex.

To be honest, there was nothing too specific about that experience in being kinky. More so it opened my eyes to a world outside of Missionary. Okay, I was never a missionary girl. The next boyfriend I would be pouring wax on top of when I was 16 (the one after). This current boyfriend was more gay than straight, and he kind of went off a bit after we broke up. A number of years later I would sleep with the second guy, the non-boyfriend. Some of the worst sex of my life.

No, really.

xoxo,

Chloe

The Security Guard

July 27, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lovers Diary Part III,

I had such a fondness for this one. When I was seventeen I worked in a clothing store. At the time, it was my entire world to be hired there. Living in a city by myself, freshly graduated and with all this freedom you get to know yourself a bit better.

In the mall there was a security guard, which is common. Even now when I seldom go into that mall, there seems to be the hottest, tall yummy guys. At this point I’m the older one, and I feel kind of bad even looking at them in that way. I have a fever for guys 6’0-6’4. I’m a short thing at 5’2 and they seem to enjoy my shortness as well. I’ll pick the things off the floor, if you pick the things off the top shelf for me 🙂 An old lady in a grocery store told me this once and I forever since have used it.

The security guard would frequent his rounds. Maybe a little…too frequently on his favourite store. Yes, that store was where I was. There was a second security guard I had a huge crush on that I never got to completion, but that’s okay. He wasn’t 6’0 anyways. This security guard later ended up applying for the police force and deleting a number of people that may trash his reputation as it is difficult to get into the force by who you are associated with. Yes, I was one of the girls deleted off his Facebook. Did I care? No. He still messaged me on my cell phone.

I don’t remember how long it took, but because I am shy, things can take a painfully long time to get me going for a hang out. He had a girlfriend, this monster of a girl who was one of the managers. I don’t condone now-a-days that he cheated on her. At the time, it was like a triumph over her and a nasty secret. He ended up dumping her later in years because her sister was an ex-drug addict and it didn’t look good for his police application.

We saw each other off and on for a few years with gaps in-between when I would be dating someone. I was loyal, he didn’t understand why. Sometimes I would visit him at the hospital he was later a security guard at, he would sneak out from his shift and I would park in the parking lot. Here we were 3 in the morning, in my car with awkward conversation. It was constantly awkward between us, a lot of sexual tension? Then he fucked me in my car. Or, I fucked him. I rode him, and I absolutely LOVE car fucking. I love kissing, there was a lot of kissing. He finished and I cleaned up, then he politely left and I drove him. Took my makeup off and fell asleep. I appreciate a thank you and I had a great time after EVERY encounter. He was perfect for this. Nor did he bother me when he wasn’t able to meet me and fuck me. I used to be 24/7 prepared and have things like tissues handy for any random encounter. Never leaving an excuse to not capitalize on an opportunity of sex. Extra panties in purse? Check. Mints? Check. Condoms? Check. Strict birth control schedule? Check, check, check.

Other times he would message me how his girlfriend was on vacation. The second she was gone he would message me and work his ass off to get me to say yes. Then he would massage me in my place, when my roommate at the time was away, and he would bang me on the floor, the counter, the couch. Anywhere, everywhere. I think we even banged on my roommate’s bed. Oops. His girlfriend was an all-natural looking girl. Me? The exact opposite. At the time I had severe red lips, black-blue hair, and a huge commitment to pin-up style. My lingerie was nice, and I would dress up and look extra good for whatever encounter. I never asked if he was banging multiple girls. Sometimes I felt like I was the only one he was cheating with. I probably would have been insulted if I wasn’t at the time. We saw each other off and on for a few years.

I haven’t checked on him in years. Last I did he had some mountaineering type photo with a pretty and natural looking girl. I hope he is well. I hope he got that police job.

xoxo,

Chloe

The Biochemistry Student

July 24, 2020 — Leave a comment

The Lovers Diary Part V,

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We met from online dating, I appreciated his witty profile. Part Icelandic, you say! I vividly remember the first time we met. I could taste his nerves. I can see it in my mind like a movie. Him practicing the suave french introduction. Him fumbling.

He was first year into his Ph.D, studying trypanosomes (they cause the sleeping sickness). These are parasites. Fast forward a bit, we were fancy friends for several years. Well, the length of his Ph.D. and a bit after. He had traits I enjoyed. Biochemical student, yet owning a condo at 25. He had a pick lock kit and would break us into the hot tub room after hours with stolen ethanol from his lab. It smells like paint, tastes like air. You get drunk fast. None of this 40% vodka. Clearly, I trusted him.

He was eager to swoop me up as his girlfriend and introduce me to closed people. That is until student vacation ended. One thing with Ph.D students is nothing means anything if they are on break. Nothing. The fantasy is temporary.

I was broken hearted, bitter even. I just threw him into the fancy friend rotation. He was scandalous and I liked that. His place, so boring and clinical. No warmth, I remember he had tape up sandals for a long time. Practical. Unlike me. We never had anything deep to talk about.

He used to have the only pussy picture of me up until the last couple of months. I wonder if he kept it. We never did fuck in his lab, we stayed at his home or fucked in the hot tub. Drunk and in lust.

I moved to a bigger city. Once, I asked him to see me. He took the ferry and fucked me and left the same day. Eight hours of travel for sex. I admire that. Nothing was special about our sex. We connected in ways I didn’t figure out. I loved him going down on me.

He eventually finished school, got a great job at a top University. Told me he wished he had pursued Pharmacy. Ironically, I saw him only once in the bigger city we both moved to. Last I checked in on him a year ago he was proud for finally committing to getting a girlfriend. Then, he was 33? How the time flies…How long you can know someone. Yet, not at all.

Chloe