I was such a little shit for my first job. Oh my god, I will admit that. My work ethic significantly improved every single job thereafter. During though?

First, I had my mom give my resume in as I was too damn shy to even give my perfectly typed up resume to the customer service desk. I remember so vividly the feelings of embarrassment but also panic because I wanted money SO BADLY!!! I get the call, i ace the interview, and boom! I’m a vegan/vegetarian/whatever in the deli department.

Wait. I stopped being a vegan/vegetarian/whatever pretty fast.

Gain ten pounds later from stuffing so much fucking meat in my mouth in the cooler. I ate so many stolen corn dogs, buns, feta cheese (straight out of the greek salad bucket), deli meats, cheeses, salads. I worked there for 14 months, and I gave a polite quitting letter on the brink of getting fired. One write-up was for leaving at 9:55 every day when my shift ends at 10:00 (pfft whatever, I had EVERYTHING done! I would be done 9:45 and wait until 9:55). I remember the snitch, too. The older guy, assistant manager I think? Maybe he had an angry crush on me. Another time written-up for leaving the hot chickens on all night. Oops. Third time? Oh probably one of the other. I am sure they knew I was stuffing my tiny mouth with all the meats during my shift.